Dancing With Tears In My Eyes

I know I'm too young to be so unhappy like this

I can't tell how unhappy I am right now

See, I know I'm going to lose people in my life and realize that no matter how much time I've spent with them or how much I appreciate them and told them so, it will never seem like enough

I'm sick of pretending to be happy all the time, I'm sick of having to cheer everyone up when I can barely stand getting up in the morning

It just does not seem fair anymore

Sometimes I find myself running from love

I want to push anyone away who tries because honestly, I'd feel horrible if anyone had to deal with the fucked up mess I am

To be with me would be a chore

Maybe at first they wouldn't see it, maybe they wouldn't want to

But I am nothing great

I'm just a girl with a lot of heart, no direction, and barely any stability

I'm better off alone and I've been so good at it

How could I stop now?

You made me open up and talk about things i never told anyone

Then you left, and that's what hurts, the most

Is it so easy to walk away?

I thought I could do this without being attached Just have fun and not give my heart away

But all of a sudden, every smile, every word you said stays with me

I can't get you out of my head

Laughing while I'm crying, I don't wanna let them know I'm dying and if pages learned to think, you're not even worth my black ink revenge

And it seems to me that a promise isn't something you keep and a secret never lasts

It only sees what you see

It's the taste in my mouth

It's the nauseousness

It's my stomach in knots forming cascades of gunshots, leaving me holding a pen and this page and these words filled with rage

If this is all I have to give, these written words exposing within

And everyone has a secret of sin

Then why do I feel all alone in the end?

emotionallyxhurt. xo